Reflections

I found the visit to the states a bit traumatic and was not able to settle down at all when I arrived at my US home. I returned to Macedonia full of misgivings - unable to balance the needs of my family with my personal needs and the needs of my new 'family' in Brod. Though I enjoyed the peace and quiet of my room in Brod the first night, I found it daunting to venture out for my walk in the morning. All I wanted was the safety and comfort of my four walls – did not want to face up to the task of speaking in a language I barely knew. Misunderstandings arise from cultural differences and nuances and I do not want to be judged as uncaring or selfish and that I left my husband before he was fully recovered from his bout of serious, life threatening illness.

So Wednesday morning the honeymoon period was officially over. I dawdled all morning, picking through my clothes before gingerly stepping out in the fresh air. The fog had not completely lifted and formed a soft veil around the mountains, softening the harshness of a clear cloudless cold wintry morning. The gas station digital sign told me was 2 degrees centigrade at 7:03 am. Just stepping out helped clear some of the fog in my mind. After walking just a block, I saw a car drive past by me and in that split second I recognized the Mayor of the town driving by, just as he recognized me. He stopped, rolled down the window and we greeted each other and he moved on. Immediately my pace became brisk and more confident. It was not going to be so hard after all- the people in this community knew me and knew why I had left so abruptly and they were not going to embarrass me with questions! I went on to say hello to the employees outside the municipal services and a few other residents when I met the silly dog, Glupcho! His exuberance and squealing in delight while jumping up and down always embarrassed me in the past, but was such a welcome sound this morning and soon I felt I was back in my ‘normal’ routine. There was a distinct increased lightness in my step and I was reminded that the only way to conquer my latent fears is to look them in the face. I fell into my earlier routine of stopping at the store and one of the many fruit stands to replenish my pantry. It was then I decided to write about the similarities and differences in the two cultures that I was straddling!

The pace of life is slower here for me, as I had left all my obligations behind before I embarked on this journey. Unlike me, my colleagues have obligations that they are trying to juggle between work and home. However, there seems to be more flexibility built into the workday and there is an acceptance that many times familial obligations may have a greater priority.

The work day usually starts over a cup of coffee, often Turkish style. Many of my colleagues call it their breakfast! It is a time for making small talk, before the start of the day. In my case the talk is very simple and to my utter consternation I was having difficulty with many of the simple phrases I had mastered earlier - I recognize the words but not the meaning! However, today I found out a colleague had purchased a car in Germany and was making a 5-day trip to go and fetch it! Another colleague had purchased a new laptop and yet a few others received their official uniforms last week and were still getting used to the bright orange color that made them visible from far away! Talking over coffee is like having an impromptu meeting in which everyone in the office is a part of. Today, I learned that a couple of colleagues were going to an adjacent village to survey and draw up a proposal to remodel the facility! I was not only able to join them, leaving immediately, but I learned about this "new project" at the opstina!

Rent is paid in cash, no saving receipts for tax purposes. I pay for three months at a time and have started using the ATM to withdraw money because the lines at the bank are long and the process slow. ATM’s as we all know, have withdrawal limits, which means I have to make multiple trips. I also miss the ease and convenience with which you can purchase groceries and personal products for daily items. It took me 2 months to find whole-wheat flour in a store in Skopje! During my short stay in the US, I was able to cook both simple and gourmet meals, because the ingredients were readily at my local grocery store. Peanut butter is not a common item in Macedonia – they like their peanuts raw or roasted and not made into a spread, so I brought a couple of jars back with me!

The farm produce here is like having farmer's market all year round. Though bananas come all the way from Ecuador, most vegetables and fruits travel only a few hours to get from the farms to the fruit stand. This morning I purchased tomatoes and cucumbers arriving from south-eastern farms in Strumica,! Walnuts, chestnuts and hazelnuts are locally grown in backyards and in the late fall and early winter months, hot roasted chestnuts are served as a snack! Walnuts are used extensively in their desserts of which baklava is famous not only in Macedonia but also in Greece and Turkey. It appears as one of the dessert items at every celebratory meal. What I couldn’t find was pine nuts to make a nice caprese salad!

Visiting friends is less formal. Many people turn on the porch lights to signify they are at home and friends feel welcome to walk up and knock at the door. Though tired, my friend called out to me at 9:30 pm when she saw me strolling down the street and I didn't feel uncomfortable walking in to her house. Back home we live scattered from each other and dropping in like this becomes impossible!